


Technicalities of Boys' Nights, ft. Biblical Lords and Drinking Games

by seffersonjtarship



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Boys' Night, Crack, Fluff, M/M, Never Have I Ever, bc they deserve it, i AM in this fic no i will not elaborate, this is actually a self indulgent self insert fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 18:46:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30059892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seffersonjtarship/pseuds/seffersonjtarship
Summary: Him? “Him?” Dean makes a face. Him? Who him?“Jesus Christ,” Cas says, looking at both of them. “He was...for lack of a better word...cute.”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Implied Eileen Leahy/ Sam Winchester
Kudos: 48





	Technicalities of Boys' Nights, ft. Biblical Lords and Drinking Games

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LiberAmans214](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiberAmans214/gifts).



“Okay. Mmm okay. Never have I ever fucked an angel.” Sam giggles, like a goddamn girl. Which he is. Sam is a girl and he should never have been allowed to their Boys’ Night. Then Dean could actually fuck an angel. Or the other way round. It’s about the principle of the thing. 

What he  _ has  _ to do instead, is, chug half of this piss yellow beer. Because he has. Fucked an angel. And it’s really nice, fucking him. 

Wait.  _ Wait.  _

“Technically, I didn’t fuck  _ an  _ angel.” 

Cas snorts. Sam tuts. 

“I mean,” Dean explains, “I didn’t fuck ‘an’ angel. Not singular.” He grins. “There was also, um, whatsername Cas?” 

Cas,  _ not _ the angel in question, technically, not an angel at all, anymore, growls. It’s working.  _ Good.  _

“Right, yeah. Anna, I reckon.” He finishes. 

Cas downs his bottle, it wasn’t even his turn.  _ Good.  _ Now, time to get back to his baby brother. Grinning, Dean goes, “Never was I ever, ‘sexually intimate’ with a demon.” Hah! Take  _ that,  _ Sasquatch. 

“If we’re speaking about, uh, technicalities, I must point out that Crowley was a demon.” Cas butts in. “So, I don't think it counts Dean.” 

Ugh. Cas smiles mock-sweetly at him, then winks at Sam. Sam bumps his fist to his. Dorks. 

“Okay, okay. Hold it. I’ll go again.” Dean taps his chin in thought. “Never have I ever…… I don’t know, wanted to kiss the Lord’s ass?”

“What the fuck Dean?” Sam grimaces. Then his eyebrows touch his hairline because, what the fuck, Cas is swallowing huge gulps from his bottle. It empties, and he rolls it across the room. 

“Jesus Christ, Cas.” _ Damn _ , that was hot. What’s coming, eh, not so much. 

Cas shrugs. “Yes. Him.”

“Yes?” Sam chimes in. 

_ Him? _ “Him?” Dean makes a face. Him? Who him?

“Jesus Christ,” Cas says, looking at both of them. “He was...for lack of a better word...cute.” 

“Jesus Christ?” The brothers say together. 

Cas shrugs again. “Mm. My turn. Never have I ev-”

“Hey hey hold up. Jesus Christ? Je- WHAT THE HELL?” Dean chokes out. Because, truly, what the hell? 

“What?” Cas asks, face all innocent. “He had a nice rear. I would have liked to kiss it.” Then, because he’s so nice, he says, “You have a good butt too, Dean. I don’t exactly mind kissing it either.”

“ _ Guys.” _ Sam groans. 

Oh so, okay. Okay. he doesn’t  _ mind  _ kissing Dean’s butt. Fuck him. Dean doesn’t pout. He just folds his arms to his chest and slides away from Cas.  _ Jesus,  _ Christ.

Cas, frowning at Dean’s distance, crawls up to him and lays his head on Dean’s lap, face up and staring creepily at him. Dean won’t look at him. He won’t, because Cas is flushed pink from the four bottles of beer he has downed and his eyes are like glass and his stubble is just the right kind of rough and no. Dean is angry. Technically, not angry, per se, just…

“Jealous, Dean?” Sam asks, a lopsided grin plastered across his moose-face. Snickering, he adds, “Cas, what was he like? Jesus?”

Dean groans, and throws his hands across Cas’ chest, possessively, probably. 

Cas turns, such that his cheek is pressed to Dean’s thigh, and hums. “He had. Uh, olive skin. Long hair. Like you. Tall, just a bit shy from your height.”

Sam chuckles. “You sure you chose the right brother, Cas?” 

Cas’ brows furrow. “No. I have the right brother, I’m sure.” He links his fingers to Dean’s, and Dean smiles, finally looking at him. “I’m  _ also  _ sure Eileen will chop me  _ and  _ Dean if I tried kissing your butt.” 

Seeing Sam defeated, and as drunk as he is, out of retorts, Dean laughs, and Cas preens. He turns back, straightening on his back with his head towards Dean, and runs a hand across his jaw. Dean catches his hand and kisses his knuckles.

Sam coughs. “ _ Guys _ .” 

Technically, it’s midnight. Boys’ Night is over. ”You can leave if you like, Sammy. I’m sure you won’t like to see us do the nasty.” Dean smirks at Sam. 

“Yeah, yeah, ‘m leaving.” Sam gets up, all gangly arms and feet, stumbling a little. “Too bad it’d be you doing the nasty and Cas taking Jesus’ name.” With that, he’s out. One point for the younger Winchester, dammit.

But Dean doesn’t have time to think, because Cas has latched himself to his neck, sloppy, beer-smelling tongue lapping at his adam’s apple. He’s still half sprawled over Dean’s lap, their angle awkward and disoriented. Dean heaves him up, stretching his legs so Cas can straddle him. Once Cas is upright, he resumes where they left off, and starts skimming his hands over Dean’s sides.

Then suddenly, he stills. With a cruel grin, he says, “Do you know who Jesus actually looked like?” 

Dean’s husband is an asshole, inform the press.

“Dr. Sexy.” 

“ _ Ca-as.” _

“Though, the cowboy boots were absent, which, technically,  _ do _ reduce the charm.” 

**Author's Note:**

> this was a self-insert fic, believe it or not. if you guess who i was, kudos to u i guess :/  
> find me on tumblr: http://seffersonjtarship.tumblr.com/


End file.
